Miles to go before I sleep

Sometime the unpalatable nature of life bangs hard onto me. This unsavoury feel for life is a new development though. The feeling of finding -every- bit of -everything- around you so phony, so contradistinctive from what I thought the world should be like. Being into research these days, there is this phenomenon of 'contemplating' leeching me. Why do people fake? Why do relationships so dear to you begin to itch all of a sudden? Why do tend to restrict yourself to the same finite boundary inspite of yourself?

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

- Robert Frost

May be I should not blame this phase of my life, I am just being extra freaky again. And another year comes and goes. Damn! :P Oh...and its worth a mention that being the winter solstice, today's night is gonna be a long one. But it will end, in the end.

Do Parchai...

These are the two parchaayies (Nonu and Tanu). This post is a tribute to the simple ways in which kids spread joy, laughter and smiles to cherish all-through your life. Nonu sang a beautiful song (sang it like a bhajan though: P) for me too (I shall share it soon).

Love incarnate :)

Aataa...the lifeline

My visit to India (a badly needed break) after some 6 months of stay in barcelona shall fetch mixed feelings throughout my life. Never before I felt the heart of india beating so loud (there is a slight possiblity that it was actually my heart :P), I could hear everything around me and none of the sounds was soothing. The Radio Mirchi in the bus, together with the crazy traffic, the shouting-screaming children and feriwallas....India looked like so much oozing with population, heat, sweat and dust for a moment.

Needless to say, as always the last feeling that I have is of awe. So much confusion, so much jostling with people, still everyhting looks effectively pacified...the same as it was. Each city that i visited after 6 months has to its credit accumulated some new developments, be it delhi metro, more facilities, airport renovation, new one coming up in Greater Noida. Jaipur looked even more taken care of. Well-maintained roads, newer buildings, more development plans n schemes. Everything in India seems to be flowing at its regular controlled pace. Each new place that you visit in India leaves in you an intrepid desire to explore more.India is indubitably vast and beautiful.

As the auto managed its way through the rough street to my house, I could hear some lively chanting of females-ladies sangeet, another girl was getting married i think. Listening to the news makes me believe that time is at a standstill here in this land. Everything is moving but nothing has effectively changed. News span everything but old dirty politics, life/infrastructure toll due to floods/famines(depending on the season), accompalishments (no doubt!), bollywood gossips, business icons, bribery/corruption...any flavor in its brute form is vital here in my homeland at all times.

How can I put a full stop to my experience without mentioning a note on the Aataa. Aata is always the favorite question of everyone. In one real incident that took place in the evening when i was surrounded by three neighborhood aunts together with my mom (what a grill that was). So when the third aunty just popped in, after having asked her curious petty questions about my life in spain, she asked "Beta, aata milta hai wahan?". Please note that the two other aunts whose time of popping in was earlier than this one had already asked the same question. I smiled and nodded yet again, resolutely shutting out the temptation of rather banging my head. Is this the manifestation of the so-called (legitimately?) warm indian society? The sound of the evening prayers at the nearby temple with loud drums and bells beckoning God for blessings and arousing an emotional tirade in the god-loving (or god-fearing?) religious people is an everyday affair.

Aaataa...Aataa..Aaataa... I dare not tell them that I have stopped eating chapatis. Aahh...chapaties after a long time. Me at home...at ease (at peace?). BTW, am still not out of it...can you comment if the attaa query is a perennial concern by everyone around you also?

Yahan Kaun Hai Tera...

An baffling thought I at times have is about the conundrum of birth and the debut of new life. How can something so physical and biological (and may be chemical) lead to formation of a new life – a life with body, mind and conscience. This gives a pretty bigger meaning to the essence of reproductive characteristics of any form of life for that matter. The first tiny green leaf of a seedling or be it the hatching of an egg leading to a chick, life (birth) is a mystically beautiful. It kicked off from a biological process, but what smiles as life amidst us is much beyond that. When does everything get so much baptized with that bliss of life? As I write this today, I am not just a bunch of chemical reactions or a set of particles( and/or biological cells) in conjugation, I am more than that, and so are you. When does one change existence from just the conjunction of two gametes to what we call a life?

I remember an exercise that we were made to do in groups in my Art of Living classes. Each person closes his/her eyes, and asks the companion- “Who are you?” After each answer that I gave, my companion was just re-iterating the same question as if hinting that I don’t know who I am. I was defining the way world knows me. Hence the bigger question still remains “Who am I?” Do you think your essence is in consanguinity with that very instant when you were baptized with life? I wish to conclude now, but will let the tantalizing thought linger.

Song I am listening to : Wahan kaun hai tera…from movie Guide. Try listening to this song here.
Current Mood : Contemplative, as always ;-)

Wahan Kaun hai tera..
Musafir, jayega kahan
Dam lele ghadi bhar,
Yeh chaiya payega kahan.

Koi bhi teri raah na dekhe.
Nain bichaye na koi
dard se tere koi na tadpa
Aankh kisi ki na roi

Kahe kisko tu mera
Musafir, jayega kahan

Kuch tera na mera.
Musafir jayega kahan

.Life.

Life is beautiful
when it blossoms in your heart
deep inside amidst the shrouds of dust n gloom.

Life is hope,
a reason for living
when you are all alone

Life is alive
with showers of smiles
and waves of new beginnings after deaths

Undefined is life
for me, for you
who still wander fanatically
looking for an answer .
A simple answer to
...
Who am I?
...

Infinite
is what Life is.
Don’t you try to define me, Life says
For I am the infinite
I span everything.

I am you.
I am Life.
Life is beautiful.

Yin Yang-intriguing or incomplete?

On my way to univ each morning, I cross a circular park with curious curves. Only after few days I realised that its inspired by the symbol of Yin Yang (may be!). The concept of Yin Yang (a chinese symbol developed from the natural and rhythmic changes in our universe) is very captivating. Yin represents everything about the world that is dark, hidden, passive, receptive, yielding, cool, soft, and feminine. Yang represents everything about the world that is illuminated, evident, active, aggressive, controlling, hot, hard, and masculine. Everything in the world can be identified with either yin or yang – the two forces of nature (complementary and supplementary).

If you look carefully at the association of Yin (dark-passive-feminine-cool-soft) vs Yang (illuminated-active-masculine-hot-hard), its not difficult to fathom the beauty of the theme. Yin exists because Yang exists; each one originated from the other and is the reason of changes in the other. But I was wondering if this implies that darkness (in terms of vices, pain, sorrow et al) cannot be eliminated from roots? (at all?)

The concept of Yin Yang essentially states that since no one principle dominates eternally, that means that all conditions are subject to change into their opposites…and all phenomena have within them the seeds of their opposite state. So when do you reach a state of balance? Or how do you define balance, in the first place? Does Yin Yang hint that there always exists a balance, but the fact is that its imbalanced or point to a possibility that there can never be balance?

Interesting reads : History/Origin of YinYang

To be or not to be is not the question

I have been thinking of putting down these thoughts which keep boggling my mind often.By the way, I know I am not the only one :) I am not sure if I will really be able to express it, but I think its worth a try atleast...

Sometimes in life, one feels empty. So empty, that to be or not to be no more remains a question. The dilemna looms in your head in a form larger and fiercer than ever before. The question then asks...

Why be?

This question is so unabbreviated, crystal and intriguing that a person who is able to answer it for himself has probably known his purpose of life. Or may be he -solved- his purpose of life. The second facet that I sometimes attach to it, a more scientific and rational one, (the former being a philosophical n divine one) is that may be its the Charles Darwin's theory in operation leading to the concept of "Survival of the Fittest". Each one is trying to prove himself as the fittest so that he 'survives', this is what appears to be the superficial and supposed purpose of life on earth. The definition of "Survive" or "Fittest", to me emerges to be a subjective one, implying different meaning to different beings. But then again, I ask myself...

Why survive?

Well, the beauty of this problem is that it has no single outcome or may be no outcome at all. I leave it for you to think...if at all you want to!